4. november 2016

The idea has struck me like waves over the years in different strength and power. After chronic sleep and drought , It was brought to life by a friend who felt pressured by her surroundings to deliver a credible’s account of her own life, and requirements for a pre written script dictated by the surroundings.

Is my own travel in comparison?

A journey in the «outcast» land. When the ego for various reasons do not fit into a given box or the applicable requirements of a society in fear. That only the well-known and its invisible laws may dictate society normality. What happens to us who do not know the collective song, nor its notes. And for some reason were not awarded the «social right» note booklet, where each neat note was carved into a sharp black indentations on the papers white clean surface. That the sound can sound clear and true ,is the purest of luck, where the weight of the mass and the willingness of a community nailing every note to their place of success.

My tone was not reconciled. My journey excluded. My lack of understanding not to participate in the orchestra’s capricious circumference. A soreness of not understanding, nor could participate with the voice I was assigned. One community robotic approximation of herd mentality hiriarki. I am excluded. AND I LET MYSELF EXCLUDE … I LET ME separate from MYSELF … in one straw grip of hope doom. In a short period, in the belief that the eternal salvation and in sonata existence: is participation in the community’s cradle, my only salvation.

Not even a short period, but back and forth over the years: doubting, seeking, victorious, and at times losing to the strong majority. What power it has exercised, AND WHAT BEATING I HAVE EXCEPTED…

The trust I have broken to myself and my venerable I and potential. To my musical genre and distinctive tone. For my own full orchestra and its unique musicians and tone kinsmen.

That doubt has benefit the felon , applies only within the juriours. My I should homage. The applause Crescendo Forte. Faith in myself as full-fledged composer and self-composed orchestral with the unique keys, only the knowledge of self- worth can create .

We all have a gift. The desire to normality kills every potential in us: creativity death ,the road of changes bolted , and the future human insight gets crumbled . Normality overlooks the magic that differenciates us.

Let normality get his place at the drums. Let it be felt in the depths of each one blow and see the resonances awaken me to life, or swallow me in its power. But the echoes and my music a symphony worthy.

I have created space for me.

So if I’m not ordinary, then I must be extraordinary.

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